11 weeks...........

Today I would be 11 weeks pregnant.  Six days after turning 29, I miscarried our second child.  It has only been four days since that horrible trip to the Emergency Room and yet it feels like it was just 2 hours ago.  I woke up and cried this morning.  Cried for myself and other women who have had to experience the gut wrenching pain of losing a child.  I know I was only 10 and a half weeks pregnant when we lost Baby May 2, but I can still close my eyes and see his/her heartbeat on the U/S screen. 

I have been going back and forth about whether I want to share or not.  Share because there are other women out there feeling the same lose that I am.  To share because I feel like it will help me heal.  Ease the dreams I have been having of feeling a baby kick in my belly knowing there is no baby there.  Or looking at PJ's in JCPenny and for a moment can't breathe because I see the cutest little girl Santa Clause PJ's and wonder if I have lost my only chance to have a little girl.

So I will Blog about how for 10 and a Half weeks I have been the happiest, most scared, and sickest I have ever been in my life.  But mostly importantly, I will Blog to share how through the tears, dark clouds, and deep sorrow, I find myself walking closer with God which I have been praying for for a very long time now..............